LABORATORY QUARKS  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The most fascinating element in the Universe
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Element:	Woman.
Symbol:		Wo.
Discoverer:	Adam.
Atomic Weight:	Accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 to 160.
Occurrence:	Surplus quantities in all urban areas.
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Physical Properties
(1)	Surface usually covered in painted film.
(2)	Boils at nothing and freezes without reason.
(3)	Melts if given proper treatment; Bitter if used incorrectly.
(4)	Allotropic: Virgin metal right through to a common core.
(5)	Highly magnetic: readily attaches to coins and sports cars.
(6)	In Their natural state specimens vary considerably, but are 
	often changed artificially so well that the change is 
	indiscernible except to the very experienced eye.
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Chemical Properties
(1)	Great affinity for Gold, Platinum, Silver and precious stones.
(2)	Able to absorb great quantities of expensive sustenance.
(3)	May explode spontaneously if left alone with a Male (Ma).
(4)	Insoluble in water but activity greatly increases by
	saturation in alcohol.
(5)	Yields to pressure applied to the correct points.
(6)	Leaves red deposits on china, cigarettes and shirt collars.
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Tests
(1)	Pure Specimens turn a rosy tint if discovered in natural state.
(2)	Turns green if placed beside a better specimen.
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Uses
(1)	Highly ornamental
(2)	Most powerful money reducing agent known.
(3)	Can be a great aid to relaxation

		
		Author unknown




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